


Five Times Geoffrey Lazer Ramsey Regret Hiring These Three Chucklefucks

by callmearcturus



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Gen, five things, homoerotically-charged friendships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-10 04:24:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/781741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callmearcturus/pseuds/callmearcturus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly What It Says On The Tin. Five times Geoff was wistful for the days when it was just him and Jack in the AH offices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Geoffrey Lazer Ramsey Regret Hiring These Three Chucklefucks

**1\. That Time With The Fucking Gay Chicken Tournament**

> Geoffrey walked into the office with a cup of coffee in one hand, a page of notes for the day in his other. He planned to just get to his desk and work until his higher brain functions kicked on, around recording time.
> 
> It was because he wasn’t awake yet that he took so long to notice.
> 
> “What— what the fuck are you doing?”
> 
> “Hold on, they’re having a showdown,” Michael replied in a stage whisper. He was casual, like he didn’t have Gavin’s hand tucked into one back pocket of his jeans and Ray’s hand in the other.
> 
> “What are—”
> 
> “Hold  _on_ ,” Michael repeated sharply.
> 
> As Geoff watched, Ray and Gavin leaned into each other, neither letting go of Michael. Ray shuffled closer and back away, indecisive, while Gavin just watched with what Geoff thought of as his Mildly Drunk eyes, but were possibly his Bedroom eyes. Ray squared his jaw, going up on his toes, closing in on Gavin.
> 
> Gavin smiled slowly and leaned in too.
> 
> Ray’s eyes went wide as saucers as he kept going, nose almost touching Gavin’s.
> 
> The fucking weird moment broke when Gavin shut his eyes and licked his lips.
> 
> “Nope!” Ray jumped away, backpedaling until he was to the door. “I’m out! Out!” Without another word, he slipped out of the room. Geoff could see him break out into a run as the door shut behind him.
> 
> Gavin threw his fist in the air. “Victory! Glorious victory!” His other hand kept snug in Michael’s back pocket.
> 
> Things finally clicked into place. “Oh my god, are you assholes playing gay chicken?”
> 
> The two of them turned to Geoff. Gavin put his arm around Michael’s shoulders, and the shorter man fit comfortably against his side. “Well. Yanno,” Gavin said.
> 
> “No, I don’t,” Geoff replied. “And we’re going to keep it that way.” He finally made it to his desk and put his back to his employees. “Try not to suck any dicks in the office.”
> 
> “Aw, Geoffy,” Michael simpered in his best saccharine tone, “that’s what the supply closet’s for.”
> 
> It took the rest of the day for the finalists of the First Achievement Hunter Gay Chicken Tournament to settle. Geoff still doesn’t know exactly what happened, but he did hear a crash from inside the office, Gavin’s distinctive howl of despair, and “god _dammit_ , Gavin, you piece of shit!” before Michael came barreling out of the office with Gavin’s jeans in hand.
> 
> “So who won?” Geoff asked as Michael threw the pants in the sink and turned the faucet on.
> 
> Gavin hobbled over in his boxers. “ _Mi_ cheal! I have to wear those…” And there was the Kicked Puppy look.
> 
> To Geoff, Michael answered, “It was a stalemate.”
> 
> Gavin frowned. “Well, when you think about it—”
> 
> “ _It was a stalemate_.” Michael shoved the pants into the kitchen’s freezer, then glared Gavin down when he tried to rescue them.
> 
> Showing uncharacteristic wisdom, Gavin relented. “Stalemate, right.” Then, softer, “Geoff, do you have a spare set of trou?”

  
  
**2\. That Time When They Discovered “Get Down Mr. President”**

> The Achievement Hunter office is not the largest room in the Rooster Teeth offices, to put it lightly. That should’ve been deterrent enough for horseplay (unless it was HORSEplay, obviously). Should’ve been.
> 
> Geoff started to worry when Lindsey just  _happened_  to be lurking around with her camera tucked under her arm. She and Michael kept tipping conspiratorial smiles to each other.
> 
> Lunchtime rolled around. Jack, perhaps the smartest motherfucker in the office, made himself scarce almost immediately. Geoff started getting ready to run out and meet Griffon. Behind him, the ‘lads’ were similarly powering down.
> 
> “Rudy’s?” Michael asked.
> 
> “Again? Michael, really,” Gavin said with a headshake.
> 
> Lindsey’s eyes tracked everyone’s movements. With remarkable subtlety, she turned her camera on before putting it on her shoulder, sideways like she just wanted to shift the weight. Whatever footage came out of it would have to be flipped, but sometimes that was a necessary sacrifice. “The Brit doesn’t understand good food, what a shocker,” she intoned dryly.
> 
> Ray was fussing with his creepy immaculate desk.
> 
> Michael looked briefly at Gavin, who bit his lip and made that quiet squeak that meant he was about to ruin someone’s afternoon. Geoff knew it well.
> 
> “Rudy’s sounds good. You’re outvoted, Gavin. Little American thing we call democracy,” Ray said. He slipped his glasses off his face to clean them as he headed for the door. Gavin fucking bounced on his heels, excited, before Lindsey punched him in the arm.
> 
> Trailing behind Ray, Gavin silently put his hand up to his ear. A second later, Lindsey did the same thing.
> 
> It wasn’t until Michael did the same that hell broke loose.
> 
> “ _Get down, Mr. President!_ ” Michael shouted and in unison he and Gavin tackled Ray to the ground. There was a tussle as the two troublemakers crouched over Ray, miming guns sweeping the area.
> 
> “Oh come on, you assholes—”
> 
> Ray was cut off by Gavin putting a hand on his face and pushing him against the ground. “Careful, Mr. President! Potential sniper!”
> 
> Ray made some angry muffled noises, kicking his legs.
> 
> Lindsey grinned like a shark, filming the whole thing.
> 
> “RT Life?” Geoff asked as he casually stepped over his employees.
> 
> “You know me,” she replied cheerfully, bending over to get an angle on Ray’s smushed face.

  
  
**3\. That Time Michael and Ray Managed To Hang Gavin Upside Down From the Ceiling**

> Geoff stared at Gavin’s nose. It was hard to miss, being right at eye level, albeit upside down.
> 
> He looked up, at the bungee cords and velcro that’d been liberally wrapped around Gavin, pinning his legs and arms in place.
> 
> “How?” Geoff tried to express the full force of his confusion into the singular word.
> 
> Gavin opened his mouth, then looked puzzled and shut it again. “Listen. Here’s the thing.”
> 
> “You don’t know.”
> 
> “Yeah.”
> 
> Geoff tried his next question: “Why?”
> 
> “Yeah, about that.”
> 
> “No idea?”
> 
> “None at all.”
> 
> “Okay,” he said agreeable. “So, you need anything or…?”
> 
> Gavin thought about it. “Yeah, can I get some water? ‘M thristy.”
> 
> It took digging up one of the krazy straws from the back of the utensil drawer to make it happen, but he got Gavin squared away before retreating back to his desk.

  
**4\. That Time With The Discussion That Would Not Die**

> Geoff was not hearing this. He was working. He was editing. It was important work.
> 
> “So would you take me out to dinner first?”
> 
> Gavin hummed. “Dunno. Are you the type that wants that first?”
> 
> Ray threw a pencil down the row of desks. “Cheater. You can’t ask that.”
> 
> Gavin looked appraisingly at Michael. “I… Hm. I think…. Yes. One date, dinner and a movie first.  _Then_  I’d count your teeth with my tongue.”
> 
> Ray, because he was a bit of a shit, asked, “That’s weird. Why don’t you just kiss him?”
> 
> “Shut  _up_ , Ray,” Gavin whined. Possibly whinged.
> 
> Geoff said loudly, “Don’t you assholes have work to do?”
> 
> “Rendering,” Michael and Gavin said in unison.
> 
> Ray coughed and rolled back to his desk. “I’m… not rendering. Hm. This is awkward.” He thankfully got back to work.
> 
> Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass didn’t stop.
> 
> “Not going to lie, that’d probably work for me. I like anticipation,” Michael told Gavin, tone entirely too thoughtful and serious.
> 
> Gavin beamed. “Excellent. What about me?”
> 
> Michael made considering noises, rolling in enough that he could prop his feet up on Gavin’s lap. Gavin shoved them off once, but Michael just did it again and Gavin let him. “I’d buy you a drink and then try to get to second base with you. You don’t have the attention span for slow. Unless it’s slow-mo.” Gavin nodded, agreeing. “Maybe have sex in the restroom if it wasn’t, like… McDonalds-restroom dirty.”
> 
> “Jesus Christ,” Geoff said loudly, needing to share his pain.
> 
> He was ignored. “I bet I could do you against the wall.”
> 
> Gavin barked a laugh. “Could not! I’ve got, wot, three inches on you?”
> 
> “Yeah, but it’s all in your fucking legs. If I get your legs around me, you lose your height advantage.”
> 
> “You are talking complete balls.”
> 
> Michael stood up. “Come here, Gavin.”
> 
> “Why aren’t your videos done rendering?” Geoff asked no one. “Why the fuck do we have these fucking Macs if they don’t render faster?”
> 
> Gavin jumped up and followed. Hands on the taller man’s arms, Michael set him against the shut door. Gavin braced himself on Michael’s shoulders. “Howsit— One leg at a time, or should I jump?”
> 
> “Uhm. One at a time.” Michael patted his hip, and Gavin obligingly slung his leg up around it. “Fuck, your legs are seven miles long.”
> 
> “Seven metres long.”
> 
> “Shut up.” Michael got a grip on Gavin, hand hooked right under his ass. “Okay, one… two… three.” And Michael was holding up Gavin, like he weighed nothing. “See? Hey, don’t move around. This isn’t easy.”
> 
> “I actually feel taller like this,” Gavin said gleefully. “It’s  _weird._ ”
> 
> “So are you guys going to fuck or what?” Ray asked.
> 
> “Nah,” Michael said as he carried Gavin to the middle of the room and dropped him on the ground. “I mean, my video’s finished.”
> 
> Thank god.
> 
> “And I’d have to clear it with Lindsey.”
> 
> Geoff let out a sigh of despair and thumped his head against the desk.

  
  
**5\. That Time Geoff Didn’t Regret Hiring The Aforementioned Chucklefucks Quite So Much**

> Burnie was having one of his barbeques. Ostensibly, it was a company bonding dinner thing. Geoff suspected that Burnie just wanted to show off his new grill.
> 
> To be fair, it was a nice grill. Geoff was jealous.
> 
> After the usual mingling and checking in with everyone, Geoff found himself a seat on the porch next to Jack. “Hey.”
> 
> Jack tipped his beer to Geoff in greeting.
> 
> From where they were sitting, they could watch the pool. It was something Geoff always did, almost subconsciously, since Millie was born. He situated himself in clear view of any potential danger, ready to leap in at the first time of trouble.
> 
> It wasn’t needed that night. Millie was perched on Gavin’s shoulders, well out of the water, and he had both hands steadying her as he moved through the water. She had a water gun in her hands and was shouting directions to him, steering him this way and that. Her targets were Griffon, Ray, and Michael, all of whom were swimming around Gavin, trying to dodge Millie’s aim. Out of the three, Ray was a little too agile for Millie to gun down… until something happened and he completely lost his balance. Geoff suspected Griffon had tripped him under the water.
> 
> “Hey,” Geoff said quietly. “Do you ever miss the days when it was just us in Achievement Hunter?”
> 
> Jack gave Geoff a frown, then turned back to watch the game. “Sometimes. You and Burnie could’ve hired some people who weren’t such fuckheads.” He shrugged. “But usually it’s like this.”
> 
> Geoff nodded. Jack was right.
> 
> He really should’ve hired less fuckheads.


End file.
